Hidden High
by AkatsukiRedCloud
Summary: 15 year old Deidara has recently moved back to Japan with his Mother and her new husband. This means going to another school and making new friends...Will Deidara settle in well? Pairings: SasoriXDeidara, ItachiXKisame, PainXKonan, ZetsuXTobi, KakuzuXHidan...Rated T, Thanks to Hidan...Please review!
1. Deidara Iwa

**Instead of attempting think of ideas for the next chapter of my 'Akatsuki Childhood's!' fic and leaving you all disappointed, I have decided to start a new fic. I know, Bad Idea. But oh well. Anyway, Seeing as these school fics are pretty popular, I decided to write one x3 And who other than Deidara to represent one? :D **

**Deidara's Point Of View **

"Deidara, Get out of bed and wake the hell up!" I heard my 'charming' Mother call from the kitchen. I will never understand how my friends found her nice and friendly, The woman was a damn monster! Though I won't be hearing my friends call her nice anymore, Seeing as they're all the way back home, Or shall I say all the way back in my _old_ home.

My name is Deidara Iwa and I am 15 years old. Me and my Mum moved all the way here to Japan 4 days ago. I was born in Japan, But when I was 5 my parents moved to America. When I was 12 my Dad left my Mum for some whore and moved to the other side of the country, Leaving my Mum to cope with 3 jobs and a highly obedient son. Well, I thought I was highly obedient. My Mother often referred to me as her very own 'Little pest' Which was ok, I guess. Anyway, After a few years my mum met this guy called Mao, Who was pretty cool. They got married recently and both decided to move back to Japan, Which means a whole new life for me. Just great.

I groaned as I dragged myself out of my comfy queen-sized bed. My Mum and Mao thought spoiling me with luxuries would help me get over moving away...Let's just say it worked a bit. Apart from the fact that I left my friends I wasn't really that upset about moving back to Japan. My old school was pretty crappy and my house could of been a bit nicer...But still, If I carry on acting grumpy I will just get more presents, So why not?

After coming to my senses, I walked into the nearest bathroom and took a hot shower. I leaned my head back as I let the water refresh my body, I really needed this. After all, Today is the day I start my new school, Hidden High to be precise. Hidden High is a pretty weird name for a school though, But I couldn't care less really. I just want to get school over and done with, I'm hoping to become an artist when I get out of school. Art is pretty much my life, Though most people don't think I understand the meaning 'Art'

Once I finished my shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and opened up my wardrobe. I wish there wasn't a school uniform, I have loads of awesome clothes. I sighed and pulled out the uniform. At least it looked kind of nice. Deep grey slacks, A white shirt, A navy blue tie with small white stripes, A matching navy blue sleeveless V-neck jumper with two white stripes at the collar and a black blazer with a golden version of the school crest on the left side of it.

Once I finished dressing myself I looked in the mirror, I looked pretty cool. Minus my face and hair. After applying my eyeliner and sorting my hair out I walked into the kitchen and sat down.

"It's about damn time, Deidara..." My Mum groaned as she served my breakfast. I poked the weird-looking grey stuff in front of me.  
"What the hell is this, un?" I asked as I poked it some more.  
"It's oatmeal. You eat that or you eat nothing" Mum plainly said as she poured herself a cup of coffee.  
"Can I have some of that?" I pointed towards the pot of coffee and my Mum gave me a questioning glance.  
"No. You hate coffee" My Mum said to me as if I had just come out of a coma.  
"Yes, But it's better than this, un!" I pointed towards the glass of orange juice near my bowl of grey crap.  
"That Deidara, is orange juice. You may have heard of it, Now drink it quickly before all the vitamins run away" Mum said while giggling slightly and pushing the glass towards me.  
"How old do you think I am, Fucking five, un?" I yelled as I threw the glass on the ground.  
"Deidara, Language!" Mum yelled back as she started picking up the glass.  
"Whatever, un..." I muttered as I grabbed my bag, Walked out the house and slammed the door. What a nice day to start the morning, Then again this usually happened.

As I was walking I spotted a nearby corner-shop. I was going to walk past until my stomach started growling at me to get some food. I sighed and walked into the shop. It was small, But has plenty of edable stuff. I stopped a sale on cookies and reached to grab the last pack, Until someone pulled me away.

"What the hell, Un?" I shouted as I went to look at my 'attacker'. A boy, A few inches taller than me. He wore the same uniform as me and had dark brown, Spiky hair. Though I couldn't see his face, It was coated with an orange mask with black swirls. Pretty strange, I hope the other students at the school don't look like complete weirdos...

"Hello! Tobi see's that you have the same uniform as Tobi!" The boy yelled and he grabbed hold of my blazer, I was just about ready to scream 'rape' until he started speaking again.  
"Tobi thinks that you're a very pretty girl! Tobi was wondering if you will go on a date with Tobi and marry Tobi and have 13 kids called Red, Orange, Blue, Yellow, Green, Purple, Brown, Black, White, Pink, Grey and Pony! And own 2 puppies called Goat and Toad and live together _forever_!" The weirdo known as 'Tobi' yelled as he started to squeeze me and stroke my hair. I pushed him too the ground, Quickly grabbed my cookies and went to pay for them. What? I was still hungry...

Once I got too the counter the shop keeper gave me a warm smile.  
"Please ignore Tobi...He has a habit of getting excited when he see's new people...Just please don't press any charges...Tobi promises not too ever do that again...Right, Tobi? " The woman glanced at Tobi as he rose to his feet.  
"Oh yes! Tobi promises! Sorry Miss...Umm...What's your name?"  
"Deidara, Un..." I said as I tried to keep my distance from this psycho.  
"Wow, You have a deep voice! But that's ok, Tobi likes masculine women!" I started to wonder what was wrong with this Tobi freak...Time to put him out of his misery...  
"I'm a guy, Un..." I simply stated. I think I saw Tobi jump back a bit though...  
"Oh...That's ok! Tobi still likes you Deidara- Sempai!" Tobi leaned in to hug me but I quickly stepped out of the way and watched him fall to the ground.  
"Sempai? What the he-"  
"That will be 200 yen please..." The woman interrupted.  
"Oh right, Un...Here you go" I handed the shop keeper the money and walked out, Munching on my cookies. Tobi then quickly got up from the ground and followed me.  
"Wait Sempai! Tobi want's to walk to school with you!" I sighed as I heard the swirly-masked freak run after me. What harm could it do? I don't even know where the school is, At least I won't get lost on my way to school now...

_**Ok, That's the first chapter...I'm going to take a power-nap now...Night night.**_


	2. Hidden High

_**Ehehehe, Oh the joys of boredom. The weather has been so hot recently, Which is a mega-surprise seeing as it's in England. I refuse to leave my house . So, What else to do? This is probably my quickest ever update...Seeing as i'm a lazy person... **_

**Deidara's Point Of View **

I had only been walking with this Tobi freak for about two minutes and I already wanted to rip the phsyco's head off! It's as if he was annoying me on purpose. Which actually made sense seeing as _no one_ could be that annoying without realising...  
"Sempai?" The weirdo screamed in my ear. What the hell? What did he want now?  
"_What_, un?" I grumbled, Trying my best to keep the monster inside of me from exploding.  
"Oh, Tobi was just checking too see if Sempai was daydreaming...Hey Tobi thought of something cool! Your new nickname can be 'Deidreaming Deidara' Cool, Right?" Tobi giggled.  
"That's even worse than Sempai...I wasn't daydreaming anyway. I was trying to control the demon inside me...Un" I grumbled some more.  
"Oh! Tobi didn't know that Sempai was like Naruto and Gaara, I suppose that means Tobi can't love Sempai anymore..." Tobi stopped walking and held his head low.  
"What the hell are you talking about, un?" I questioned. This kid was really starting to freak me out.  
"You have a 'demon' sealed inside you too! Like Naru-kun and Gaara!" Tobi started covering his mask and crying. This kid clearly had some problems...  
"Idiot, Un! I didn't mean literally, Demons don't exist!" I yelled and continued walking. I wasn't wasting anymore time on that idiot.  
"Ohh...Sempai...?...Hey, Sempai! Sempai, Wait!" I heard the idiot calling from behind me. What the hell did he want now?  
"_What_, un?"  
"...You're going the wrong way..."  
"Oh...I knew that...Un"

After Tobi caught up with me we continued walking. After five more minutes of constant shouting, Coming from Tobi, We finally came to a nicely spread-out brick building. It was actually pretty breath taking...I was constantly making a mental note in my head to ask the Principle how many rooms it had.

"Deidara Sempai! We're here, Isn't that great! I'll show you around, We can be best friends...Like school buddies! We can even share secrets...Here's one...Tobi...Needs to pee!" Before I could even reply to the orange-masked freak, He ran off. He had obviously went to pee...Despite the fact that the idiot had atleast five toilet breaks on the way to school. I was pretty surprised that we weren't late for school. It was my first day anyway, So it's not like they would be too harsh on me...Right?

After exploring for a few minutes I realized that I hadn't even received my schedule...I didn't even know what form room I would be in...That meant a visit to the principles office...In my old school, The principle was a horrible old man named Ōnoki. For some reason he ordered us to call him 'Tsuchikage' He seemed like a pretty sick bastard anyway, So it didn't surprise me at all. I started to think what the principle will be like here...

"Mister Deidara Iwa?" A soft voice called. I turned around to see an average height woman with a slim build and a fair face. She had deep eyes and mid-length black hair.  
"Oh is this the principle? She seems ok, Un..." I said to myself.

"Yes, Miss?" I politely said. What? She could be a pyscho _pretending _to be nice, There were plenty of them in my old school...  
"Oh, Hello young lady...I'm sorry, We may have made a mistake on the school records. It appears that we put you down as male, How strange is that?" The woman giggled a bit. I tried my very best not to scratch this her eyes out. She had suddenly become less nicer after that remark...  
"Umm...Well actually, I'm a guy, Un..." My eyes trailed down to my school uniform.  
"Oh yes...Oh um, Sorry for that mistake Deidara...Come this way please" The woman turned away and started waking towards a large oak door. On the top of it was a shiny metal plate which read 'Principle's Office'

Once I followed her she started knocking on the door. I started to wonder why she was knocking at her own door...Unless she wasn't the principle...Of course she wasn't! She was far too friendly...  
"Lady Tsunade? It's Shizune...I have the new student with me...Deidara Iwa..." Shizune sounded slightly scared. I had already worked out that the principle was a woman, But why did that Shizune woman sound so scared of her? She's probably some old hag...  
"Bring her in" The voice sounded somewhat youthful, Which was strange. She called me 'her' though...Bitch.

Shizune opened the door and put her arm out for me to enter. I smiled and nodded to her in appreciation.  
"Ah Miss Iwa...Please take a seat" I turned around and came face-to-face with the biggest boobs I have ever seen before in my life. I felt my cheeks go pink and I prayed that she wouldn't notice. Unfortunately she did.

"No need to be shy Miss Iwa, I assure you that I don't bite...Much" I could literally taste the venom that she injected into that sentence. I wasn't worried about her biting, It was more about her suffocating me with her massive breasts! I completely ignored the fact that she called me 'miss' again...  
"Oh um...Sorry...Miss...Un" I blushed even more and slowly looked up. She was fairly tall with somewhat light skin, A small purple coloured rhombus tattoo on her forehead, chocolate eyes and blonde hair separated into two loose pony-tails. The most noticeable thing about her though, Was her amazing figure and huge bust.  
"What's your problem, Blondie? You're looking at me like I just accidentally sex-texted you. This caused my cheeks to go even pinker. I heard her sigh and walk away, I just carried on staring.  
"Well, What are you waiting for? Sit down!" I jumped a bit and quickly grabbed a seat.  
"Ok, Miss Iw-"  
"Actually I'm a guy, un..."  
"Well how the hell was I suppose to know that, Cut your damn hair!" Tsunade yelled. I stared at her in shock, Outburst much?  
"I can't, un...I have always had it long..." I waited for the she-monster to yell at me again.  
"Ugh, Whatever..." Tsunade then started searching through some draws at her desk. I then had the chance to breathe and relax.

After a few seconds I heard a small "Aha!" From Tsunade as she pulled out what appeared to be a large bottle of sake from underneath her desk. I looked at her in shock, Where teachers even allowed to drink in school? Tsunade obviously noticed my expression as she gave me a small glare.  
"What? It relieves stress, Ok?" She shouted. I winced at the ringing in my ears.  
"Anyway...You must get going to your form room. Your form room is located in room 403, Your teacher will be Mr Hakate. Here's your schedule and here's a map of the school" Tsunade thrust a pile of papers towards me, I quickly grabbed them and tried to remember what she had just said. It seemed as if she wanted me out of her office as soon as possible.  
"Have a nice time at Hidden High...Now _leave_" Tsunade pointed towards the door. I quickly bowed and left.

As soon as I walked out of the crazy woman's office I looked at my map and started looking for my form room. 402, 402a, 403...Room 403! It was on the other side of the damn school! I growled in frustration and started stomping my feet.

"Umm...Are you ok?" I heard a deep voice ask. I turned around and saw the most weirdest pers- No, thing I have ever seen. It was about 6'3 with light-blue skin and beady looking eyes, Almost resembling a shark. To make him even weirder, He had spiky blue hair and gills tattooed onto his face. I was seriously about to faint.  
"You're a..." I couldn't even spit it out. What if he had some kind of deformity? I didn't want to upset him...He'd probably kill me! He was almost double the size of me...Curse my shortness.  
"I'm a...I'm a what?" The blue beast raised an eyebrows.  
"You're a...S-s" I started to stutter.  
"A _what_?" The creature looked like he was going to rip my eye-balls out...  
"A..._Student_! You're a student, Un! You're a very tall student! Ha...Ha...Ha...Un..." I looked down towards the floor. I was going to die.  
"Ahahaha, What's wrong blondie? Thought I was gonna hurt ya'? I know I look like a shark, Cool huh?" The shark grinned. His teeth were _fucking _pointy...  
"Oh...Sorry about that, Un...It must be hard for you..." I was seriously expecting a slap.  
"Nah, Don't worry about it. I was born like it...Say, You're new aren't you?" He looked down at me and grinned.  
"Umm...Yeah, Un...How did you know?" I had to look straight up too see his face, It kind of hurt my neck.  
"You're too friendly...And I haven't seen you around before...Lost I assume?" I simply nodded and handed the blue-skinned man my map.  
"Ah, Room 403! So you're the new girl!" This was really getting on my nerves.  
"Actually, Im a guy, Un..."  
"Ah, That explains the deep voice...Im Hoshigaki Kisame. Nice to meet ya!" The blue-skinned man, Now known as Kisame thrust his huge hand forward.  
"Iwa Deidara, Un..." I used my hand to shake _two _of his fingers.

I felt _ridiculous_.

_**Yes, I do realise this fic is going pretty slow. It will speed up later in the chapters, Im just trying to fit in everything that you need to know without it looking rushed :P Please review, If you want to that is .**_


	3. Hatake Sensai's Class Of Doom

_**So, New chapter is now up! Yay...I think T.T I was waiting for more reviews, But after 3 days I just gave up xD Though really, Reviews are awesome. I must consume them! Anyway...Here's the next part. Finally this fic is getting somewhere! **_

"I have a feeling you're going to fit into Hatake-Sensai's class..." Kisame smiled and winked at me. God, That looked _really _weird...Then again, Kisame did look a bit fishy...Ha...Ha...  
"Um...What do you mean by _that_, un?" I looked at the blue-skinned man with wide eyes.  
"Well, Look at me. I'm a freak but people in Hatake-Sensai's class look at me like I'm a _normal _person...Do you want to know why?" Kisame looked at me in amusement. No, I really didn't want to know why...  
"Yes, Un..." Kisame smiled even more.  
"Because they're all freaks too"  
"Oh..."  
"Hey, Listen...Do you have anything...Like..._Wrong _with you?" Kisame looked at me, His expression had changed to a frown.  
"Umm, Apart from looking a bit feminine...No, un...Not that I know of anyway..." I looked up at Kisame, Waiting for him to reply.  
"...Be careful. The kids in Kakashi's class aren't exactly...Normal...I mean, Look at me. I developed a rare skin disease when I was 5 and I ended up in a hospital for 3 years..."  
"So...I've been put in a class full of freaks, un?"  
"Pretty much" Me and Kisame both smirked at each other.

After a few minutes of casual chatting, Me and Kisame came to a tall door.  
"Why's the door so tall, un?" I asked.  
"Just look at me. I'm the tallest in the class..._Just_" Kisame smirked.  
"What? So they're _all _giants?" I seriously felt like jumping out of a nearby window...Or buying a pair of heels.  
"Not _all _of them...Just be careful...There is no going back once you enter '_Kakashi's Classroom Of Doom'_" The sicko smiled at my horror.  
"Right, Un...Im leav-  
"Just get in the damn class room" Kisame interrupted.  
"Fine, Un..."

As soon as me and Kisame entered the classroom, All eyes fell on me.  
Kisame instantly walked off and sat next to a raven-haired boy with red eyes and a emotionless face.  
"Um...Hi, Un..." I stared down at the ground. What if everyone in the class were psychos? What if I simply _glanced _at one and they chopped my head off?  
"Deidara-Sempai! That's _my _Deidara-Sempai! My Sempai is in _my _class, Yaaay!" I suddenly became face-to-face with an orange mask.

_Oh crap. _

I just _knew _that my luck was so bad that I would be put in the same class as him. Then again, Kisame did say that this class was for freaks...

"_Tobi_, un?" Yep, I guessed right. Though just before he tackled me to the ground a hand appeared and pulled him back by his hair, Just like a dog on a leash.  
"Tobi, _No_" A deep voice demanded. I looked up to see a middle-aged man with spiky silver hair, A blue mask, and dark eyes. Though there must of been something wrong with one because it had been covered up by the right side of a headband that the man had been wearing.

"Ah, You must be the new student...Deidara, Right?" He looked at me and walked behind the cluttered desk at the front of the room, He must be Kakashi.  
"Yes, un..." I stood still and looked at the teacher. At least he didn't seem drunk like Tsunade...  
"Well, Introduce yourself to the class then..." Kakashi used one of his arms to indicate me to stand in front of the chalk board.  
"Oh...Ok then, un..." I stood in front of the class and silently observed a few.

I spotted a ginger spikey-haired man with _hundreds _of piercing's littered on his face and probably everywhere else on his body. Surprisingly his eyes stood out even more than his piercing's. They were pale-violet rings with no whites or visual pupils...There was only on thing on my mind...This guy was hot.

My eyes then fell onto an even _hotter _red-head. This guy _literally _had red hair though...And it was gorgeous. He had light creamy skin with big hazel eyes and thick eyelashes. His blood-red locks fell just over his eyebrows, Framing his doll-like face. At the moment, He had a bored yet angelic expression plastered to his face. This guy was _perfect_...

"Sorry ginger-hottie...But red-angel is now in the lead...Heh..." I smirked to myself.

"Umm...Earth to Deidara..." My senses came back to me and I realized I had just been staring and smiling at the red-headed boy for at least 5 minutes straight...I had looked like a total creep...Plus the whole class had their eyes on me.

_Crap. _

"So...Um, Deidara...Introduce yourself to the class...Go on, Don't be shy" Kakashi-Sensai drooled as he sat down at his desk and pulled out a green-coloured book with a red cross sign on it. At least it wasn't alcohol...

"Um...Hi, un. My name is Deidara Iwa...I'm a boy...I have only recently moved to Japan. I was living in America, Despite being born in Japan...That's about it, Un..." I looked towards Kakshi-Sempai, Who had his nose buried in his book.

"Carry on kid, We've got another 10 minutes until the bell rings...Hobbies, Likes, Dislikes..._Sexuality_..." Kakashi whirled his free hand around as he said all of the options...The last one certainly crept me out a bit though...From now on, I'm keeping my distance from that creep.

"Umm...Well, I love art, un... I specify in clay works...I make birds and other creatures, un" I saw the hot red-head lean forward a bit, His facial expression still stayed the same and he was completely avoiding my gaze. _Damn_.

"I uh...I like to eat...Um...Food, Un...And uh...I like...Umm...Penguins, un..." It felt so hard to speak when everyone's eyes were on me...And the stuff that I came out with...Was complete crap.

"Other than creating art, I like to...Um...Sleep, Un" That was seriously the first thing that came into my mind...

"Ummm...I um...Un..." Just as I was thinking of something else to say, The bell rang.

"Ok, That's enough Mr. Iwa...Ok class, You can all go now..." Mr. Hatake gestured the class towards the door while he still had his nose buried in his book.

I watched the class rush out the room, Obviously trying not to get caught in the stampede of students. Then, Something hit me.

_I had no idea where the hell I was suppose to go. _

"H-Hey, Kisame, Un! Kisame?" I called for the blue-skinned man, But there was no sign of him.

"Kisame left with Itachi" I heard a silky voice say behind me.

"Huh?" I turned around and noticed the red-haired angel looking up at me.

Yes, Looking _up _at _me_, I was _taller _than him!

I started doing a secret victory dance in my mind, But still received a confused look from the red-head.

"Oh...So...Do you know where I have to go, Un?" The boy didn't respond, He just held one of his small hands out. I think he wanted my schedule.

I handed him all of my papers, I seriously couldn't be bothered to go through them all...

"I wanted you schedule...Not your whole damn history..." I heard him mutter.

"What was that, Un?" I scowled slightly as I watched him flip through all my papers, Looking for my schedule.

"You have Biology in room 32a..." He simply stated.

"Oh...Thanks, Un...Do you know where that is?" I watched him stare at me in confusion for a short time.

"Room 32a" He stated again. I scowled even more, This guy may of looked like a complete angel, But _damn _was he annoying.

I carried on staring at the red-head in even more confusion. Eventually, He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I think you're in the same class as Hidan...Ask him" Before I could reply he gently pushed pass me and walked out of the room.

"Shorty, Un..." I muttered to myself.

How the hell was I suppose to find this 'Hidan' guy? I didn't even know what he looked like...

Just as I was about to walk out, The door slammed open and I fell backwards onto the floor.

"What th-

"Hey, _Fucker_! You must be the new bitch, I'm Hidan!"

A tall, Silver-haired man with purple eyes and a confused expression.

"What the fuck are you doing on the floor, Dick-brain?" He raised his eyebrows and held his hand out to pull me up, Which I gladly accepted.

"Physce, Fucker!" He laughed and pulled hand back. To make it even _worse_, He laughed like a mad man when I fell back down.

"You ar-

"You complete fuck-tard! Get the fuck up and drag your ass to Biology, Dick-brain!" He then grasped the collar of my blazer and dragged me outside the door.

_I completely hated this guy already. _

_**Hey guys, Sorry I took so long to update. I got completely stuck in the middle of this. I hope you enjoyed this chapter though! Please review ^_^  
**_


	4. Professor Paedo-Snake

_**Sorry for the wait^^ I kept telling myself to finish the chapter but I was just too lazy T^T **_

After being shamelessly dragged through several corridors, Hidan stopped at a tall oak door.  
"Is this it, Un?" I asked while standing up. Hidan had dragged me on extremely cold floor and I was repeatedly asking myself if my butt had fallen off.  
"No Sherlock, I just happen to fucking like this door!" Hidan yelled back.  
"My name isn't Sherlock, It's _Deidara_" I hissed through gritted teeth.  
"_Deedaraaaa_?" He smirked.  
"_Deidara_!" I shouted.  
"Well stop hissing like Professor Pedo-Snake then!" He raised his fist.  
"Professor Pedo-Snake, Un?" I questioned. I could already tell that Hidan had a really messed up brain...

Before Hidan could reply, A chilling voice from behind interrupted our silence.  
"_What is thissss...A new ssstudent_"  
I turned around and met with a very strange looking being indeed; He was thin with long black hair and sickly pale skin. The most noticeable thing about the man was his strange, No _terrifying_, Pale green eyes. They had thin black slits and were outlined with heavy black eyeliner and purple eye shadow which reached the bottom of his nose.

This guy was some creepy-looking fucker.

I was completely lost for words at the sight of the creepy man. "Who is he? Why is he here? Did he break into the school to violently molest my body?" I asked myself these possible questions over and over again, Getting rather questionable glances from Hidan.

"Dude...What the _fuck _are you doing?"

I snapped out of my strange thoughts and looked towards Hidan. His eyebrows were scrunched and he was looking at the creepy snake-man in the most strangest way.

"Oh sorry, Un, I get lost in thought sometimes..." I scratched my head and smiled slightly.

"You fucking idiot, I didn't mean _you_! You haven't noticed that Professor Pedo-Snake is smiling at your _dick_, Have you?" As Hidan said this, My smile disappeared straight away and my eyes snapped towards the perverted man.

"What the hell, Un? Go away, Pervert! I'm a guy if you haven't noticed!" I covered my crotch with my hands, In hope to hide it from the wild eyes of the pervert.

"_Ohhhh...I already kneeeew thaat...I caan tell by theeee waaay thaat your pantssss stick out where yo-" _

"Oh my God, Shut the hell up, Un!" I covered my ears with my hands to prevent the sickly voice of the pervert reaching them.

"It's _Jashin_, You fucking idiot! Now drag your girly arse into class..." Before I could protest, Hidan was dragging me into room...Again.

Before I even got to look around the class room, Hidan had thrown me onto a green chair. I then heard muffled noises so I opened my eyes and removed my hands from my ears. About 20 students had walked into the class room and taken their seats. I noticed that Hidan had grabbed a seat next to mine.

"Who was that guy, Un?" I asked him.

Hidan snorted in reply and looked at me in a strange way.  
"You're kidding, Right?" He said while smirking at me.  
"What do you mean by that, Un? That guy shouldn't even be in this school...He looked about 50, Un! Someone should stop him..." I was going to say something else, But Hidan had interrupted me by bursting out in laughter.  
"Oh my fucking Jashin! You really are as stupid as you look! That fuck-tard is our t-

"_Well helloooo classss...You'reee all looking welll indeeed_..."

I felt myself go pale as I heard the same creepy voice, From the same creepy body...

"You, Un! Everyone leave the room, This guy is a complete pervert, Un!" I stood up on my desk and yelled while pointing towards the pervert.

"Bitch, Sit down! What the fuck are you doing?" Hidan whispered harshly while gruffly tugging on the ankles of my briefs.

"No, Un! This pervert needs to be dealt with, Where is the teacher, Un?" I looked around for the teacher, Still standing on my desk.

"_Ssssilly little boyyyy...I am yourrr teeeacheer_..." The pervert smirked mischievously at me.

This was going to be _hell. _

_**I know, Mega short chapter...I will update in a couple of days though, Just to even in out a bit...Anyway, Review if you like!**_


	5. Doodles, Rubbers and Diagrams!

_**Hello there! I'm sorry for the late update...Please try to not kill me for what you are about to read...I promise it has a lot to do with the plot, But I assure you that this story is completely SasorixDeidara. **_

I couldn't believe that this crazy school had _actually _hired a pedophile. To make it even worse, In the lesson we were looking at a male's genitals, And I defiantly wasn't the only one who was creeped out.

"Sooooo...Thisss is the corpus spongiousum...Pretty thing issn't it?" Professor Pedo-Snake asked, While lightly stroking the diagram. The whole of the class, Including myself, Were looking away from the sickly sight.

_"Newww child...Yess...You..." _I froze when I saw the pervert pointing at me from the corner of my eye.  
"Y-yes...Un?" I stuttered, Afraid of what the pale man was about to ask.  
"_May you tell me what thisss isss?" _He smirked as he pointed towards the outside layer of the diagram.  
"T-the...F-foreskin...Un?" I stuttered again, Feeling my face go red. It wasn't that I was embarrassed about the diagram, I just felt extremely uncomfortable talking about genitals with a pedophile.  
"_Ahhh...My favourtie part...Very good child..." _He smirked and stroked the outside of the diagram.  
"Fucking teacher's pet..." I heard Hidan mutter next to me. I glared and lightly nudged the silver-haired man with my elbow.  
"All I did was answer the damn question, Un..." I whispered lightly.  
"You're right...You're not a fucking teacher's pet...In this case, You're a teacher's toy-boy" He snickered slightly and continued doodling in his book.  
"Fuck you, Un...Hey...What are you drawing?" I leaned over slightly and checked what he was drawing.  
I tried not to laugh at the poorly drawn picture in Hidan's scruffy book. What I saw appeared to be a man with a mask covering half of his face and a white hood that covered his hair. The only visible part of his face were his strange looking eyes. Various weapons such as knives and guns were surrounding the man and in the background was a pile of money burning in flames.  
"...Some enemy of yours, Un?" I asked while staring at the picture in amusement.  
"My boyfriend, Actually" Hidan replied while applying extra blood to the man's face.  
"Umm...Ok then, Un..." I mumbled quietly, While drawing a small picture of a bird in my book.  
"What's wrong? Against gays? You sick fuck...You just wait till I scratch you fucki-  
"No, Im homosexual myself, Un" I quickly said, Interrupting the violent man, Before he could traumatize my ears any more.  
"Ohh...Why didn't you tell me, You shit-eating bitch?" He said as he leaned forward threw a rubber at some blonde kid with extremely spiky hair.  
"Hey, What the hell was that for?" The boy shouted as he strode over towards our desk.  
"Hey, What the hell was that for?" Hidan replied to the blonde.  
"What...?" The boy said in confusion.  
"You just threw a rubber at me! What the fuck was that for?" The silver-haired male bellowed at the very confused boy.  
"Oh...Sorry about that man...Here..." The blonde then handed Hidan a 500 yen note and walked back to his desk.  
"What was that for, Un?" I said harshly to Hidan, Feeling sorry for the boy.  
"Oh, That's just Naruto...He's not the brightest fucker in the world..." Hidan replied simply.  
"Yeah...But why the hell did you have to take the poor kid's money, Un?" I questioned.  
"I didn't have enough money to buy lunch..." Hidan muttered, Just enough for me to hear.  
"Then why don't you ask your boyfriend for some money then, Un?" I asked.  
"Phht...Yeah right...You obviously haven't met Kakuzu ye-

Hidan was cut off by the loud ringing of the school bell.  
"Ugh...It's about fucking time..." Hidan groaned as he slung his back-pack over his broad shoulders.  
"Come on then, Fucker..." He added, Gesturing me to follow him.  
"_Byeee-Byeee neww child..." _I heard the Pedo-snake call from his desk, I chose to ignore him and just follow Hidan to wherever he was going.

Just as me and Hidan had walked out of the large oak door, He came to another halt. I sighed. He really must like that damn door.  
"Yo Sasori, You coming to meet up with the rest of us?" I heard the silver-haired male ask someone. I peered over Hidan's shoulder to check who he was talking to. My eyes widened slightly as they fell on the exact red-head I was talking to in tuition...The exact same _smoking-hot_ red-head, which I was talking to in tuition.  
"So that's his name...Sasori" I thought to myself. Despite how ugly a scorpion is, The name suited him perfectly.  
"Hm...Maybe...Orochimaru needs to talkwith me..._Again_" I saw the red-head, Now known as "Sasori" Drop his eyes towards the floor.  
"Ah...That fucking sucks man...Well, See ya' around fuck-tard!" Hidan quickly saluted Sasori and marched off with me behind him. I quickly glanced behind to wave a quick goodbye to the red-head, But he had walked into Professor Pedo-Snake's classroom, For some random reason. The next thing I knew, The door slammed shut. Sasori had said that he had to have a talk with some guy named "Orochimaru", Not Professor Pedo-Snake...Unless...  
"Hey, Hidan? Who is Orochimaru, Un?" I asked the silver-haired man who was walking in front of me.  
"Who is Orochimaru? You fucking dumbass, Orochimaru is Professor Pedo-Snake!" Hidan spat with venom in his voice.  
"Oh, Un...Sasori referred to him pretty casually, Didn't he? What did he have to talk about anyway, Is he failing class or something, Un?" I asked again.  
"Failing class? The kids a fucking genius! Anyway, You hardly know the fucking guy, Stop asking so many questions..." Hidan drawled and continued walking.  
"Un...Where are we going anyway?" I finally asked the tall man.  
"We, My shit-head, Are going to meet the rest of the shit-heads" Hidan simply stated.

_**Dun, Dun, Duuuun! I finally updated :D Please review!**_


	6. The Akatsuki

_**Woo, Finally an update. So...It's the 21st tomorrow...Well, If the world does come to an end and the Mayans were right...Then...Well...Yeah. **_

_**Also, I've noticed that a lot of you are asking if Sasori or Deidara will be the uke. Deidara will be the uke, Although sometimes he may appear rather...Uke-ish...But that's only when Dei decides to be a bit of a pervert xD**_

_**Anyway, Please enjoy! ^_^**_

"Hidan, Un...?" I asked the silver-haired man who was currently marching in front of me.

"What do you want, Fuck-face?" Hidan replied, Leaning his head slightly backwards to indicate that he was listening to me.

"...Who are 'The rest of the shit-heads', Un?" I plainly questioned. Hidan laughed slightly.

"Who are the rest of the shit-heads? Well, The 'Shit-heads' Are my minions. There are eight of them all together. They follow every single mother-fucking order I give them...Which earned me the respected name...Hidan-Dono...Grand Master Hidan for you though, Fucker...Heh..." Hidan grinned and winked at me in an almost creepy kind of way.

"...That's not true...Is it, Un?" I smirked and crossed my arms.

"...Of course it is! Stupid bitch..." Hidan muttered and grumbled something about a plant.

Just as me and Hidan had reached what I guessed were the cafeteria doors, Hidan came to a halt.

"...What's wrong...Aren't we going in there, Un...?" I asked him. Hidan tilted his head slightly and raised an eyebrow.

"Listen, Bitch...You're about the meet _The Akatsuki..._You have to respect them, Or there will be trouble..." Hidan warned me. Inside I laughed slightly. Hidan, Of all people, Was telling me about _respect_. "A shit-load of trouble" Hidan added, Making sure that I was actually listening to him.

"I understand, Un..." I muttered, Just wanting to meet the god damn 'Akatsuki' and get things over with.

"Ok...Jashin blesses you, Fuck-face..." Hidan pulled out a weird-looking pendant and kissed it.

"What is that...Un?" I asked Hidan, Who had closed his eyes and was currently mumbling what sounded like praires to the pendant.

"Uhh...Hida-

"Shut the fuck up" Hidan quickly interrupted me.

"Hidan...I think we sho-

"Shut the fuck up" Hidan repeated and continued whispering praires into the pendant.

"What's that Hidan? You're thinking of taking up ballet again?, Un?" I spoke loudly. Immediately Everything went silent and hundreds of eyes fell on me. I smirked and glanced towards the now bright red Hidan.

"What the fuck, Man? That's not true, It's _not _true!" Hidan bellowed at the now giggling students.

"You should of listened to me, Un..." I chimed.

"Why the _fuck _would you say something like that? You girly-ass _freak_. Just who the fuck do you think you even are? You just wait till I get 'Kuzu on you! He'll kick your ass after I do!" Hidan screamed at me, I couldn't help but laugh at his helplessness.

"Yeah...Sure...Ok, Hidan...Un..." I smirked. Hidan's face soon returned to it's usual pale attire.

"Ugh...Fucking fine..." Hidan mumbled. I could tell that he could easily forgive people.

"So...Can I meat the rest of the shi- I mean the Akatsuki now, Un?" I glanced towards the double-doors which I presumed lead to the cafeteria.

"No, Fuck-tard. I'm going to stand here with you for the rest of my life..." Hidan mused and walked towards the double-doors.

"Come on then, Dick-brain" He added.

The cafeteria was a nice-looking place. Despite being slightly packed with students, It still had numerous amounts of tables and chairs, Which made it look less full. I was currently following Hidan past large groups of students, Although half the time, Hidan would just simply push past them and walk straight through the crowds of "Circle buddies".

"Can you spot them, Un?" I called to Hidan, Who was in front of me. The cafeteria was a pretty loud place, So I had to speak louder.

"Hmm...Nope...Seriously, Where the fuck are they...Fucking heathens..." I heard Hidan murmur ahead of me.

"Do you need any help, Un?" I replied, Hoping for an answer which didn't include Hidan's constant cursing.

"Look for a blue guy...Not many people are fucking blue..." Hidan called back, Speaking louder this time.

"You mean Kisame, Un?" I piped up, Happy that I already _knew_ a member of the Akatsuki.

"Oh the fuck do you kno- Oh yeah...I heard you bumped into him..." Hidan replied simply.

"...He's over there, Un..." I went on. Hidan came to a halt.

"What! Where?" Hidan boomed while searching the hall for Kisame.

"Over there" I said, Pointing towards a head with spiky-blue hair. "On your extreme-left, Un" I added, Helping Hidan out.

"Oh...Well come on then, Get your girly-ass moving, Blondie!" Hidan ordered and marched towards Kisame.

"Idiot...Un..." I muttered, Thankfully Hidan didn't hear me.

"Yo, Guys! Got you that fucking recruit you were looking for!" Hidan cried to a table of people, Including Kisame.

"Wow, Hidan...You actually achieved something...Congratulations..." A tanned man, Who looked a lot like the person from Hidan's previous doodle, Drawled.

"Shut it, Cock-zoo!" Hidan snapped at the masked-man. Hidan's expression then changed from a sour glare to a seductive-looking smirk. He then walked over to the man known as "Cock-zoo" and sat on his lap. I tried not to shiver. Hidan seemed almost bi-polar with the guy...

"So...You must be Deidara..." I new voice put in, My attention turned towards a male with spiky ginger hair...He was the hottie from earlier!

"Yeah, That's me, Un!" I smiled and took a seat.

"...The new boy..." He added, Leaning forward. His cold tone freaked me out slightly.

"Yes, Un..." I stammered. He was getting closer and closer...

"Excellent!" He chimed, Grinning widely. I almost face-palmed. "I'm Pain...But you may call me Pain-Sama, Or just leader! You're in our group now, Ne?" The man, Now known as "Pain" Added, Still supporting the scary grin.

"Pain...I think you're scaring him..." A girl, The only girl in the group, began. She was pretty. She had medium-length blue hair and pretty orange eyes.

"You think so, Konan?" Pain asked her, His unusual eyes widening slightly.

"...Just a bit, Honey..." Konan soothed, Patting Pain on the back gently.

"Hey, Dei!" Kisame waved to me. He was sitting next to the black-haired boy who I had seen in tutorial, The one with the red eyes.

"Hey Kisame, Whats u-

I was interrupted by a light tapping sensation on my left-shoulder. I turned around.

This was fate. My eye's had once again met with the same half-lidded amber orbs from earlier. I tried to hide my smile.

"You're in my seat..." The red ange- _Sasori_, Coldly stated.

There was something different about him. His usually pale-cheeks were flushed and his messy hair was messier than usual. His breathing pace also seemed a bit off.

"Ah, Damn it Sasori, Not _again_" Kisame snapped lightly at the red-head. Sasori's eyes moved towards Kisame.

"Yes, What of it? It's not like we can just stop...He will tell everyone..." Sasori responded to the taller male.

"Sasori, He's an old creep...What is he...Fifty-one? Fifty-two?" Pain asked, His voice becoming serious.

"Fifty-four..." Sasori muttered.

"Pain, It's not his fault...We all know that if Sasori stops...Doing what he does with Professor Pedo-Snake, Then Pedo will be at the police station in seconds, Telling them what we've done..." Konan reminded Pain, Receiving several nods.

"...Get out of my seat..." Sasori muttered, Changing the subject.

"Fine, Un..." I was about to get out of my seat, Until the bell rung.

"What lesson do you have next, Deidara?" Kisame asked me while grabbing his large blue back-pack.

"Uhh..." I pulled out my schedule and scanned it for my next lesson. The schedule was way too complicated, No-one would be able to read it. Sasori peered over my shoulder.

"He has art...Room 85...You're with me, Brat..." Sasori drawled and walked away, I followed him.

"Meet us at the normal place!" I heard Pain yell behind us.

"That's if he isn't fucking Pedo again..." Hidan muttered, Although I could still hear him, And Sasori probably could too.

So he was taken.

Crap, Un...

_**Taken...But not for long, Muahaha...*ahem* Optimist Pain is fun...Please review, Next chapter will be up soon! ^_^**_


	7. Art Class

_**Whoa...Late update, Again. 2 weeks? 2 weeks my ass..I'm really bad at updates...Anyway, seventh chapter is finally up, Please enjoy!^^**_

_**I do not own any of the characters featured in this story!**_

_I had seen many backs of people's heads before, But Sasori's was probably the most beautiful..._

Well, That's what I was hoping to be thinking, But I didn't have the time. I was having a terrible time trying to catch up with Sasori, Who was currently walking as fast as he could at least a meter away from me. He reminded me of that annoying looney toons show that I watched when I was a kid, You know, With the little mexican mouse, The one with the mexican hat...Speedy Gonzales, That's the one. Except Sasori wasn't as annoying.

"Brat, Hurry the hell up..." I heard the red-head murmur for the fourth time.

Ok, Yes he was.

But only _just_. I wasn't going to let one little flaw put me off my little red-haired angel...

"Yes, Sasori-No-Danna" I chimed while grinning as sweetly as I could.

What? I needed to show him that I trusted and cared for him...

"Don't call me that, Brat. It's creepy" He drawled, Not even bothering to turn back.

Well, _Eventually_ he will understand that it means I trusted and cared for him.

"Yes...Sasori-No-Danna" I chimed again, Probably earning another adorable scowl from him.

**- 5 Minutes Later- **

By the time me and Sasori had reached room 85, The second bell had just chimed. This indicated that all students should be going into their classes. So that pretty much meant me and Sasori were right on time...

I could tell straight away that Sasori was secretly a time lord, Traveling through different galaxies in search of his long lost brother, Ralf, Who he had accidentally murdered when they were young during the 24th Centaury, So he was trying to go back in time and prevent it from happening, But something went wrong so he was stuck in the 21st Centaury in a school full of complete idiots...

...Or he just had a watch.

But something tells me that he's a time lord.

_A hot one at that._

"Brat, Stop gaping and get into class" The red-head, who I had just been fantasizing about, snapped me out of my thoughts, Frowning at me in suspense.

"Yes, Sasori-No-Danna" I chimed in the annoying voice, (Which Sasori loved so much).

"What did I tell you about calling me that?" He half-snapped at me, With slight irritation. I decided not to answer that question, And instead followed him into the classroom.

"Ah, Mr. Akasuna, Right on time!" A thin lady with styled black hair and ruby-red eyes chanted.

"As always, Kurenai-Sensei" Sasori simply replied.

"Indeed..." The woman, Now known as "Kurenai-Sensei" Responded.

As Kurenai-Sensei was saying this, A few students walked in, Earning a harsh glance from Sasori, Who was now sitting alone at a desk located in the far-left corner of the room. Feeling slightly left out, I clicked my tongue a few times and looked around the large room with bored eyes.

"Ah, You must be the new gi-

"Don't even go there, un..." I drawled, Earning a rather confused look from the ruby-eyed woman. "I'm a guy...The school just fucked up my application form" I added, Which changed Kurenai-Sensei's confused expression to surprised.

"Oh well...Take a seat then, Mr...

"Iwa, un" I simply stated, and sat next to Sasori.

Before I had joined Hidden High, I had promised myself, and my Mother, To behave well and be polite to all the teachers...Which kind of worked...

Until they fucked up my application.

Now I hate them.

With great passion.

Well actually, Some of them are ok. When I say some of them, I mean Kurenai-Sensei, but only because she didn't tell me off for swearing right in front of her.

Then again, I don't think this school even cared about that type of thing, I mean, The head mistress is an alcoholic with massive jugs...

...And I'm sure I saw her secretary, Shizune, hiding an animal in the office.

Which was cool, Having a dog or cat being able to come to work with you would be awesome, I mean, you would never get bored...So Shizune was on my awesome people list...

Until I found out her pet was a pig.

A fucking pig.

Which wore clothes.

...Don't judge, but I still think that's pretty fucking awesome.

Anyway, On with the story...

As I sat beside Sasori, I earned a rather harsh glance from him.

"Aww, I think we'll be best friends too, Saso-Chan!" I chimed, earning an even more harsher glance from the red-head.

"Aww...Someone woke-up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, un~" I chimed again, prodding him with a near-by pencil.

"Are you always this annoying, brat?" Sasori growled, leaning over the desk slightly.

"Only if you want me to be, darling~" I replied, giving Sasori a flirtatious wink.

"I hate you so mu-

"Ok class! Now that you're all here, I would like to start today's first assignment..." Kurenai-Sensei interrupted.

Standing in front of the small class of about twelve (Including me and Sasori), Kurenai clasped her hands together and held up an A3 sheet of paper.

"Now, This is going to be a very short assignment, Only lasting around two to three lessons...It's called 'Monster In My Closet'..."

A few groans were heard here and there, But they were quickly cleaned up by Kurenai-Sensei.

"Ok, Ok! I know we did this assignment last year...and the year before that, but things change...Some people will paint the same thing as they did last year, some people will not. Now, As you all already know what to do...You may begin. Sasori, Please explain to Mr. Iwa what he has to do, Thank you..." Kurenai then sat back down at her desk and pulled out a bottle from one of the cabinets.

A bottle of milk.

I heard distant cooing coming from underneath her desk and she shook the bottle lightly.

"Shh...Shh, It's ok baby...Mummy is here..."

Knowing how weird this school already was, I was expecting Kurenai-Sensei to be one of those "Divorced three days after the wedding" Type of women, Who live the rest of their lives with 10 cats, or a little Chihuahua dog that they treat like the child they never had...

Well, unfortunately, Or fortunately (I'll let you decide), I was wrong.

Which is rare...(What can I say? I'm a genius...heh...)

Kurenai pulled out _a baby _from underneath her desk.

A fucking baby!

And started bouncing it on her lap infront of _the whole class._

How was not the only one bothered by this?

"You have to paint a picture of your worst nightmare" Sasori stated, interrupting my thoughts.

"...Why does the teacher have a baby, un?" I openly asked Sasori, Ignoring his previous statement.

"The same reason you're sitting in this very room, Sex" Sasori replied straight away, Not even batting an eyelid.

"Ahh..." Was all I could say.

Ahh.

Great fucking going, Deidara...

Sasori then turned away and started sketching something on an A3 sheet which magically appeared right in front of him. Wanting to start another conversation with him, I spoke again...

"So...What do we have to do again, un?" I plainly asked. Sasori didn't even flinch.

"Paint a picture of your worst nightmare..." Sasori replied, Not even bothering to look me in the eye.

This annoyed me.

Plan B...

"So uh...You like...Cookies, un?" I questioned.

"Hate them" Was Sasori's honest reply.

"...You like...Um...Frogs?" I asked again...

"Frogs can fuck off and die" Sasori replied honestly again.

He obviously had a pretty fucked up past which involved frogs...

"...You like sex?" I asked him, Completely seriously.

Thankfully (Or not so thankfully), Sasori actually looked at me...

...Well, By "Looked" I mean "Glared"...

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Sasori plainly asked. I grinned in reply.

"I'm just trying to start a conversation with you, It's not my fault you don't like anything...Un" I said, Still maintaining my ever-so-charming grin.

"I like puppets" Sasori stated, and continued sketching.

So now we're getting somewhere!

"Like Pinocchio, un?" I smiled. I was familiar with the character...

" Pinocchio can fuck off and burn in a hole full of rattle-snakes, cockroaches and a giant alligator. Then I'll force him to walk across burning hot coals...No...One-thousand lego bricks..."

Ok, So my red-haired angel was a psychopath...

...And possible a future serial killer.

...Unless he was already a serial killer...

...And I was his neck victim...

...I'm going to die...

...Well, fuck.

"Ahaha...That's nice..." I managed to let out, trying to sound as happy as possible.

"I'm glad you think so" The red-haired psych- _Angel_, added.

With a thousand thoughts running through my mind, all I could do is grab a sheet of A3 paper, and start sketching my worst nightmare...

I wonder what that will be. _

_**Well...At least they're actually talking now...I need to speed up this story, It's getting nowhere...**_

_**I'll try my best^^**_

_**Please review^^**_


	8. My Worst Nightmare

_**Probably one of my quickest updates ever! Yay for quick updates! :D Well, Not so 'Yay' if you don't exactly like this fic...**_

_**I have finally written up a small draft for the next few chapters, So this fic will be a lot more planned out, and less...Everywhere...**_

_**But please enjoy!^^...And maybe even possibly review...?**_

_**Thank you! ^_^**_

So.

After finding out that Sasori, My little red-haired psych- _angel_, was possibly a _tiny _bit insane (Just a tad, I swear...), I decided to start this stupid assignment.

I seriously didn't see the point of painting my "worst nightmare". I mean, I'm in a class of psychopaths and future serial killers, I don't think the best idea would be revealing my worst nightmare to them.

It's not just the fact that they're all psychos and will probably kill me in the future...

Well, It kind of is, but there's another reason.

My "worst nightmare" Is what you would call..."Embarrassing".

I'm scared of quite a few things, nothing too out of the ordinary, huge bugs, snakes, angry axe-murderers, Sylvester Stallone's mother, thunder...

...Oh, and tennis balls.

Yeah, You heard me.

Fucking tennis balls.

You may be thinking right now, "What the hell? Why's he scared of tennis balls?".

Well I'll tell you why I'm scared of them.

3 words.

Large. Angry. Dog.

Yeah.

Basically, I was at the park, Playing with my tennis ball. I didn't exactly like tennis, but when I was 5 my mother gave me this tennis ball. Instead of playing with it, I decided it would be my new best friend forever. I drew a cute smiley face on it and named him "Tommy The Tennis Ball" (So original, I know...). Within minutes me and Tommy were the best of friends.

But that all changed while I was at the park...

I was at the park, Picking daisies with Tommy. We were going to make the worlds longest daisy chain. Life was good.

That was until a huge fat-ass rottweiler came sprinting full speed at us.

Well...

I have been known to "exaggerate".

When I said "fat-ass", I meant to say "Slightly anorexic".

...Oh, and when I said "huge"...I meant "Completely miniscule".

...Also, when I said "Rottweiler", I meant to say "Chihuahua"...(They just sound so alike, ya' know?)

So yeah, I had this completely miniscule, slightly anorexic Chihuahua dog sprinting full speed at us. You may call me a pansy, but it was fucking terrifying. If you were there you'd knight me for my bravery.

Seriously.

Anyway, All I could do was gawk at this _thing_. The second I snapped out of wonderland, I came face to face with the exact definition of "Hell".

There it was.

That little fucking _rat. _

_...Butt-fucking Tommy The Tennis Ball!_

All I could do was cry. Tommy, My best friend, was being completely violed before my very eyes!

About 10 minutes later, the Chihuahua from hell _finally _stopped humping Tommy, but it was too late...

After the Chihuahua ran away, I clutched Tommy and sobbed. He was all torn up and covered in...Dog...stuff, It was the most horrific thing I had ever seen.

I deeply regretted kissing Tommy better, because it turns out the Chihuahua was a stray. A very _ill _stray. I was hospitalized for weeks because of that horny bastard.

And that is why I'm terrified of tennis balls. Because every time I look at one, I just see Tommy's torn up face, covered in drool and...stuff.

Anyway, On with the story...

I decided _not _to paint my worst nightmare.

If I did, I would probably die.

So instead, I decided to peek over to Sasori and see what _he _painted.

_Holy fuck._

Well.

First of all, Sasori is an _extremely _good artist.

Second of all, He captured my eye colour very well.

Yep.

He painted me.

At first, I was flattered. Someone I _really _liked, painted me, really well.

Well, I was flattered until I remembered what the assignment was.

"Paint your worst nightmare"

"Awww...I would of preferred to be a dream rather than a nightmare, Sasori no Danna...Un" I whimpered, giving Sasori my _very best _puppy-eyes.

"I didn't paint my worst nightmare" Sasori simply said, glancing at me slightly.

Well, That was good.

Until he continued.

"I painted something I dislike deeply" He added, returning back to the painting of me.

Well, At least he didn't say he hated me.

I pouted and grabbed a paintbrush from the water-pot.

"Finally decided to actually paint something, brat?" Sasori asked, smirking at me.

God I just wanted to kiss him...

Wait, What!?

"Brat, Un?" I questioned, scowling slightly.

"Yep" Sasori replied, continuing with his painting of me. "The way you childishly pout, and your stupid nicknames for me..." He continued. This time I was the one smirking.

"Aww, You noticed, un~?" I drawled, Giving the red-head a cute smile.

Sasori, Didn't reply. He just stared at me for a few seconds and continued to paint me.

Time to see how he likes it...

_**Ahh, Finally done! Half way through writing this chapter, My laptop switched itself off and I forgot to save...Fuck my life. **_

_**I quickly re-wrote it though, remembering some of it...**_

_**I was playing The Sims 3 while writing this, Call me weird, but that shit inspires me. **_

_**Seriously.**_

_**Anyway, Please review! ^_^ **_

_**Next chapter will be continues in...**_

_**I'll speak to a psychic. They will know.**_


	9. Friends?

_**Another quick (and extremely short) update! I just need to get art class over with, because it's taking too damn long, I already have chapter 10 prepared, and I shall update it after I finish writing and updating this chapter.**_

_**April 2nd, Happy Birthday Hidan! Hidan's birthday will be included and mentioned in this chapter and the next^^ (Mostly because I'm too lazy to write a one-shot concentrated on Hidan's birthday, and I'm pretty shitty at getting his character right .)**_

_**Anyway, Please enjoy!^^ And please review! (Really, Them things cheer me up!)**_

I was almost finished.

I just had to add a dash of red there and a hint of orange there...

...And I was finished!

I looked at my newest masterpiece in happiness. I didn't usually paint, I worked more in the clay department, but I was still pretty awesome at it!

Seriously, I captured Sasori's facial expression _really _well.

Yeah, You heard me.

I painted Sasori. (Hehe...)

Although he hasn't noticed yet. He's was too busy mixing colours to get the exact shade of blonde for my hair. ('cus he loves me.)

All I had to do was get his attention. Maybe scruff up his hair, or poke him in the eye, or make an unnecessary comment on his lack of height.

Naww, That would be mean...

"Sasori-Danna~" I purred, leaning on his shoulder. The red-head stopped mixing and glared at me.

"Get off, brat" He spat, being a complete meanie.

"I'm finished~" I purred again, referring to my (oh-so-amazing) picture of him.

"Finished wha-

Sasori's eyes widened slightly as he looked at my painting. I smirked in response and started picking my nails.

"Like it, un?" I asked, leaning back on my chair, still smirking.

"...What the fuck do you call this, brat?" Sasori simply said, narrowing his eyes at the sight.

"...You" I replied, my cockiness faltering slightly.

Sasori didn't reply. He just stared at the painting for a few more seconds, and then continued mixing colours.

"...I thought you would like it, un..." I muttered, staring down at the table. Once again, Sasori didn't reply.

A few minutes later, once Sasori had finished mixing and highlighting my hair with platinum streaks, he put his paintbrush down and gave my picture of him another glance, just gentler this time.

"...You...Captured my expression well..." He uttered, still looking at the painting.

"R-Really? Thanks danna, un!" I grinned, proud that Sasori had complemented me.

Sasori smiled slightly, The first smile of his that I had ever seen.

"...It's Hidan's birthday today..." Sasori began, looking me in the eye. "...We're all getting together at some shabby restaurant we always go to..." He continued, playing with his paintbrush. "...As Pain kinda wants you to join the Akatsuki, I guess it would be ok if you came..." He finished, looking at me again.

I'm pretty sure he just asked me on a date.

Ok, Other people will probably be there, but still.

It's a fucking date.

"Ah, Sure!" I grinned, nodding. (and probably looking like an idiot)

Then the bell rang.

"Ok class, hand in your assignments, then you may leave!" Kurenai-Sensei announced, and continued rocking her baby.

"You better come with me then..." Sasori said, picking up his painting and taking it over to Kurenai-Sensei's desk, I smiled and did the same.

"You lead the way, Sasori-Danna" I chimed.

I think we're friends now.

Fuck yeah.

_**Ok, Really quick chapter! I'll be updating chapter 10 soon, As it has already been written. I'm writing as much as I can now, Before I suffer from writers-block again...It's coming to get me...**_

_**Please review! ^_^**_


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